Friday 14 May 2010

Send in the Clowns



Opening the new Legislative Assembly earlier this week Uncle Mac Bush (think Uncle Joe Stalin) praised the architects for capturing the essence of the new politics - a three ring circus housing a puppet show.

The event began in spectacular fashion. An expectant crowd awaited his arrival with baited breath and some cheers were raised as his expensively customized vehicle hove into view. As it glided to a standstill an usher strode forward to open the rear passenger door. But what's this? The door came off in the usher's hand followed by a deafening BANG! and vast plumes of brown smoke erupted as all the wheels sprang off.

Good old Mac, everyone knew the wheels would fall off sometime, only the timing was in question, but it was still finely entertaining.

On the door mirror was a warning sticker stating,  "Caution: With hindsight voters can appear more stupid than they actually are. Proceed with care."


Drawing up to the microphone, set against a backdrop of smoke and distorting mirrors, Mac gave a sometimes emotional, sometimes amusing, speech about a variety of topics.

He spoke of his true love for Cayman and, seeming to become a little tearful, drew out his green silk hankie to dab his eyes. But as he drew out the hankie out came many more multi-hued silks all knotted together until there were yards of colourful fabric draped around his feet.

"That's what happen when the Auditor General get hisself involved in drawing up a specification", he quipped, "Everything ends up oversized and overcomplicated. Yessuh! I wanted Dan the Man fired, from the canon, and, though some say we wouldn't,  I say we would find someone else of his calibre."

He also touched on the other circuses in town. "We only need one circus. Competition from the Media Circus and the Civil Circus for equal billing is no longer welcome. If they want to pull their stunts and have performing Seales and stuff like that they going to have to pay good fees in future." And he wasn’t talking about just $5000, “I’m talking over $100,000”. He indicated that in the future, so long as it was inside his tent, any public performer would be allowed to walk a tightrope, "mighty tight too", without fear of repercussions - or a safety net.

And talking of rope he said people had run out of it, Cayman had run out of it, and he'd given them all the rope he was going too. "The Civil Circus don't deliver the old rope we pay them for and we just don't make the stuff anymore" - although that could change depending on the economic situation, which Sideshow Jefferson was juggling with but  it was all up in the air at the moment.



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