I'll have what the man on the floor's drinking..

Next week is an odd one, what with there being two Thanksgiving Days - one on the 26th and another on the 27th when Mr Jack leaves. (You know I'm really gonna miss taking cheap shots at  Mr Jack once he's gone.)

Here's a tip to Ezzard about the next drunken tyrant arriving to stand on his neck - one Duncan Taylor by name - Duncan Taylor is a brand of Scotch. Yes the man has an entire whisky making business named after him, or vice versa: make of that what you will.

No hard feelings Jack but don't 'Haste ye back!".

Gentlemen charge and raise your glasses. 

Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother
And if you drink, may you drink with me.

This is It!

Sales for Governor Jacko's farewell tour haven't lived up to expectations -  according to Gerbil Cantilever, virtual unknown local event promoter,  it's been a disaster

The Lions' Centre venue, which hosts most major events on Grand Cayman, has been dropped from the farewell tour - "It would have been more like the Lions' Den anyway", quipped Gerbil. "Once the Governor discovered he was top billing to fight Killa Whittaker he pulled out."

The open air Farmers' Market venue was also scrapped, "Too much ammunition lying around, what was he thinking!"  The Concert Cruise has been cancelled too, "The  Nautilus was booked solid all that week".

"What we are down to is the Governor moonwalking across the tarmac to his plane in front of a baying mob cheering throng. Oh, and the rumours he has changed his features to avoid detection are false. That picture is all down to his niece whiling away the time with her crayons and some old photos on a wet afternoon last week."

Shock Headlines

Dart to build cruise berths! What are the odds!


Pope probably a Catholic!  He was saying Hail Marys, using rosary beads and everything says eyewitness.

Bear excrement found at Yellowstone! We tell people, Don't feed the bears ... now this happens, fumes Ranger.

Holding out for a Hero

Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Where's the street-wise Hercules

To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?

Late at night I toss and turn and dream
of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life *

... Sorry he ain't coming.  His back got put out picking up other peoples trash. His face got put out by Rollover.

I'd fly down from the Fortress of  Ineptitude myself if it could do any good but my super-powers are critically impaired in the presence of Brown Metabolite, which is locally abundant.
 
Sooner or later people are going to have to rat out their neighbours to get the guns off the streets, no ex-pat cop is going take a bullet for Cayman. At a maximum $1,000 reward from Crimestoppers no Caymanian is willing to be a Bulletstopper either.

Unless praying for a hero is the official gun crime strategy put some real money on the table - serious money signifies serious intent. How about $50,000 upwards?

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* Thanks Bonnie - I owe you a drink - bottle of gargle OK?