Sobering Thoughts

Was it Governor Alan Scott or was it Governor Michael Gore who was 'drunk on parade' -  it had to be one or the other if Ezzard Miller, is to be believed - OK I could stop the post right there but let's humour him.

Miller ...... said that he too had “experienced the arrogance, disdain and condescension of Her Majesty’s representatives in Cabinet.” He described one as coming to cabinet “in a drunken stupor and drooling over cabinet papers”. 

Cayman News Services (CNS)

"Drooling over cabinet papers" ... who would have thought politics could be that exciting ;-)  Cor! look at the size of those amendments! 

Miller was only ever an EXCO (Cabinet) member during the governorship of Scott,  bar a few weeks of Gore's birdwatching holiday in Cayman just ahead of the 1992 election when Ezzard lost his seat. Maybe people thought he'd become drunk with power?

Looks like Governor Scott is being fingered here and he did own two little dogs exactly like the ones on the whisky bottle label. How much proof do you need - 75% proof - 100% proof - over-proof?

Governor Scott is rumoured to have told Miller at their first meeting to 'take the stairs' and not the lift in The Glasshouse but then Ezzard probably started that rumour too.

Miller's visceral hatred of the English probably has deeper roots than a casual slight by a governor - whatever - it is the engine of his politics and comes out dressed up as a high principled call for independence.

Now we know the present Governor (whose origin is Scottish not English btw)  is wrong about nearly everything but not when he says that people who think there is no corruption in the Cayman Islands are deluded.


Ezzard responded to this by asking for evidence - where  do we start? It has become a way of life and is the cancer killing Cayman from within but people like Ezzard want to live undisturbed in their fantasy world populated entirely by heroes.

The trick is to convince voters that this blinkered vision is, in fact, a foresight of a magical future free of outside interference. Tell it to the IRS!

Governor's Leaving Presentation

So much to do and so little time to do it - that's always the way when you're fixing to leave. The Governor is certainly going to be busy during his last few days in paradise.

Seals washed up in Cayman

Sorry that heading contains typos - it should read "Seales washed up in Cayman?".

The travails of CNN Publisher of no fixed abode, Desmond Seales, continue as the authorities move him along from one spot to another as if he were a common vagrant.

There does seem to be a coordinated effort to reduce Desmond's publishing activities to hawking a single-page xeroxed newsletter on street corners - like the mendacious mendicant (look them up) some say he always was.

Desmond is nothing if not a survivor but his enemies are gathering.

This time around there may be no circus owner wanting to splash out on a performing Seales to bark, clap his fins noisily and spellbind an audience by juggling anything his  latest ringmaster throws to him.

Too many troubles coming at once this time perhaps - even Desmond can only keep so many balls in the air at once.

Nobody's Business - an all purpose Gordon Barlow post.

Since the landlord locked Cayman Net News out of their offices at the Alissta Towers building* earlier this week they have had to make do and mend to get an edition out.

However, Friday rolls around and there is no Gordon Barlow column so I created an all-purpose, emergency look-alike one for people getting the heebie-jeebies, cold turkey and similar withdrawal symptoms.

Have you noticed how it's impossible to get your head sewn back on at the Hospital these days? I bet that wouldn't happen if you were a bloodline Caymanian.

The Cayman Islands, for all of it's claims to be a living and breathing modern democracy ... serious human-rights challenges ... afraid of losing their jobs ... treated like some mad zealot ... threatened to pull his company’s advertising ... xenophobia ... cronyism ... systematic exploitation.

FCO has in fact abandoned the ideal of “good governance” ...  perfidious Albion ... our London masters  ... British Empire ... narrow UK interests ... MI5 ... Eurobank scandal ... MI6 ... kangaroo courts ... MI7 .... cold weather ... warm beer ... M25 ... Pommie Bastards!

When I was interviewed on a Radio Cayman programme ... the ethnic-cleansing exercise known as the Rollover ... never been asked back ... Rotary never asked me back either ... not just state employees ... usual suspects.

As for the wretched immigrant workers ... systematic exploitation ... “Protector of Immigrants”  ... 20,000 ethnic Caymanians .. 30,000 migrants ... 40,000 immigrants ...  50,000 immigrants ... tensions rising ... resentment ... tribal bloodlines ... Caymanians promoted to top positions regardless  ... ignorance no obstacle to advancement ... one sugar please and then string some corks onto my new hat.

Discrimination is written into the Immigration Law  ... “just following orders”
.. born-and-bred Caymanians ... severe tensions ... moderate Caymanians wringing their hands ... ethnic Caymanians ... tribalist Constitution ... crony Board members.

How ignorant it is to blame foreign visitors to our Islands for the sins of their forebears ...  Gallipoli all over again ... look at what they've done to Mel Gibson ... whingeing Poms ... call yourself a Governor?  

Which is why we need independent MLAs ... electing mere populists ... politics of vanity ... money frittered away on empire-building ... time after time ... pandering to the prejudices of their fellow-ethnics ... waste and more waste ... solid gold paperweights ... how much for a beer! ... Governor stands idly by ... Pommie Bastards!

I leave you with this uplifting insight from a seasoned political commentator

 “Politics, as a practice, has always been the systematic organization of hatreds.”

_______________________

* Desmond if you're reading - I heard about this guy 'Evans' (possibly not his real name) who can open the door to Alissta Towers and the door of your old office any time you like.

Operation Suntan

I can't believe I heard it right ... Bridger got $500,000

$500,000!

$500,000!!



He should get five years for impersonating a police officer.

Jack couldn't organize an indecent assault in a whorehouse.

Things that make you go Hmmm!

So come November 6th there will be another President Bush in office.

Third time lucky?

Filthy Rich

"Read my lips: No - new - taxes!"

Remember that?

The outcome this time will be the same as it was then.

Kurt and Alden have returned from the naughty step with some awkward budget questions but MacEnomics has already taken hold.

MacEnomics seeks to discover and employ economic synergies that exist between the Public and Private sectors (ie. Dart and Mac respectively) freeing each to do what they do best - turn a mutual profit.

Under an early MacEnomics initiative the government will wash its hands of the Sewage System and flush with cash spend the pennies on some different crap.

Once the sewage is in private hands, so to speak, there will almost certainly be a move to a 'Pay Per Dump' pricing model (it was going to be called 'Price Per Movement' but PPM is a dirty word just now).

Demonstrating the holistic and synergistic nature of MacEnomics government initiatives will provide more bottoms for the privatized sewage system, building a dock for mega-cruisers hauling mega-ass and continuing polices that result in high immigrant worker numbers etc.


It is also well known that nervous people visit the toilet more often so policies will be put in place to keep people constantly agitated. Who would have thought gun crime could have an economic upside? And taxing business owners based on their business rental costs is an additional strain for people already holding on by their fingertips - inevitably they will have to let go.

Civil Servants on the other hand will be expected, in the interests of efficiency, to use the toilet before they leave for work in the morning and hold it until they get home in the evening. All staff toilets will be locked until 09:30 and after 16:30. Can you imagine the injection of extra tension into the evening rush hour that will cause? Even in a roomy automatic it's nigh on impossible to drive with your legs crossed.

At Northward Jail the cosseting will stop. The cheapest toilet paper available will become standard issue and the Simpson's Protocol will apply to toilet breaks - a brief interlude with 'itchy and scratchy' and then back to the main feature.

Bottom line: I'm not against making *ssholes pay their way - so long as it's the right *ssholes.