Wednesday 7 October 2009

Filthy Rich


"Read my lips: No - new - taxes!"

Remember that?

The outcome this time will be the same as it was then.

Kurt and Alden have returned from the naughty step with some awkward budget questions but MacEnomics has already taken hold.

MacEnomics seeks to discover and employ economic synergies that exist between the Public and Private sectors (ie. Dart and Mac respectively) freeing each to do what they do best - turn a mutual profit.

Under an early MacEnomics initiative the government will wash its hands of the Sewage System and flush with cash spend the pennies on some different crap.

Once the sewage is in private hands, so to speak, there will almost certainly be a move to a 'Pay Per Dump' pricing model (it was going to be called 'Price Per Movement' but PPM is a dirty word just now).

Demonstrating the holistic and synergistic nature of MacEnomics government initiatives will provide more bottoms for the privatized sewage system, building a dock for mega-cruisers hauling mega-ass and continuing polices that result in high immigrant worker numbers etc.


It is also well known that nervous people visit the toilet more often so policies will be put in place to keep people constantly agitated. Who would have thought gun crime could have an economic upside? And taxing business owners based on their business rental costs is an additional strain for people already holding on by their fingertips - inevitably they will have to let go.

Civil Servants on the other hand will be expected, in the interests of efficiency, to use the toilet before they leave for work in the morning and hold it until they get home in the evening. All staff toilets will be locked until 09:30 and after 16:30. Can you imagine the injection of extra tension into the evening rush hour that will cause? Even in a roomy automatic it's nigh on impossible to drive with your legs crossed.

At Northward Jail the cosseting will stop. The cheapest toilet paper available will become standard issue and the Simpson's Protocol will apply to toilet breaks - a brief interlude with 'itchy and scratchy' and then back to the main feature.

Bottom line: I'm not against making *ssholes pay their way - so long as it's the right *ssholes.

6 comments:

  1. Not being a big super nanny fan, had no clue what you meant by naughty step. Thank god for wikipedia!
    Are the marlroad.com regulars the only ones who "get" the McKeeva/Dart connection?
    Keep blogging!

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  2. Baldy honey,
    Where's your REACTIONS: box for 'crap'? I wanted to put my smudge there.
    Knal

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  3. What starts out as a bad joke becomes reality: a Japanese airline wants passengers to go to the bathroom before the flight to cut down on "emissions". http://www.nydailynews.com/travel/2009/10/08/2009-10-08_japanese_airline_wants_passengers_to_use_the_bathroom_preflight_to_cut_emissions.html

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  4. I think plenty of people "get" the linkage and some day it may get them.

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  5. Knal Baby - nice of you to drop in even if was only for a quick Domp.

    Judging from the vowel movements on your blog I'd estimate your need for that "reactions" mod is greater than mine.

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  6. Re ANA airlines - nice link.

    The borderline between genius and madness is a thin one (and sometimes electified) but that is one flight of fantasy I didn't really expect to pan out.

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