Saturday, 11 December 2010

Mary flips her Wig

I suppose an overheated brain is an occupational hazard of wearing 66 ounces (I'm guessing) of horsehair piled on your head in a hot climate.

How else to explain the actions against Caymanian Compass reporter, Brent Fuller, by The Legislative Assembly  Speaker, Mary Lawrence, for his report on the formation of a committee to 'look into' the Freedom of Information law?

Brent had his LA reporting 'privileges' revoked for 'the rest of the week' by the Speaker - at a Friday meeting of the LA ... and they don't work weekends.

That showed him!



However, this stupendous and (possibly) unprecedented punishment was not enough for MLA Ezzard Miller.

Before we go further let me explain that I am trying to avoid using the words 'shit' 'stirring' 'Ezzard' and 'Miller'  in the same sentence but the predictive text feature is adamant that they are inseparable and they have to appear either all together or not at all. Let me just adjust that feature ....

Now, to continue ...

According to Cayman News Service Ezzard was so incensed by the use of the word 'secret' that he wanted the Compass  and Brent Fuller prosecuted.


Ezzard Miller suggested the offence committed by the paper was the use of the word “secret” to describe closed door meetings of a select committee to discuss freedom of information and the implication in the article that lawmakers may do something “untoward during those deliberations”

I read Brent Fuller's report - the word secret (or secrecy) does not appear in it. Not once. In fact he seems to have gone out of his way not to use the word to describe the said sub-committee.

On the other hand the offending Compass editorial 'On WikiKeaks'  uses the word 'secret' several times about the committee and the general review process - who really cares about that process anyway, all the real deals are made outside the LA then wheeled in for rubber stamping.

However this editorial, in very loose language, pre-empts the outcome and forecasts a curtailment or neutering of Freedom of Information legislation . It is enough over the top that it could have come from Ezzard himself - although obviously it didn't. But whichever hand wrote the editorial it was clearly not Brent Fuller because it is so emotionally and stylistically different to his report.

Which means - to me at any rate - that conflating a fair and honest report by Brent Fuller with a sub-standard editorial barely fit for a blog has resulted in the MLA's voting to try and prosecute both the paper and the reporter.

Yes you read that right - a newspaper editorial opined that politicians were not the surest guardians of freedom of information, used the word 'secret' in a bad and hurtful way and Cayman's law making body voted to prosecute the newspaper and a reporter who never used the offending word in the first place.


As an aside, this is paradoxical progress of a sort - normally the expat would have the entire blame dumped on them, be given the bum's rush and everyone else would get back to enjoying their rice and beans.


What sort of shit-stirring politico could have tied up the legislative process for an entire day, made Mary, Mary so bloody contrary and made the Cayman Islands Legislative Assembly look like some cracker-barrel court in some jerkwater town that jails out of town jaywalkers just to liven up its day. There are no prizes for guessing the name - and it's time they grew up.

The 'dignity' of the Legislative Assembly has been more demeaned by its own actions than any snide press comment could have achieved.

Thursday, 14 October 2010

Cock and Bull Story

So I'm in the kitchen gutting anchovies with a Bowie knife, Cayman style, when Mrs B. calls out ... 

' Hey Baldy! Did you see this headline in Cayman New Services 

"Man beaten with bull’s penis" '.

'No. Sounds like a stupid bet to me though. He was bound to loose'.

'Don't be dumb! Some guy attacked some other guy with a dried bull's penis'

'Why would a guy be wearing a dried bull's penis?'

'Jeeeeez! LISTEN!! Man A, armed himself with a dried bull's penis and whacked some other guy with it'

'Oh wow, I see! Wonder what their beef was?  Did the guy being bullied run off or fight back?'

'Doesn't say if he beat off his attacker or just beat it'

 

'Beating off a dried bull penis wouldn't be very easy would it?'

'No, I expect it would be quite hard'

'D'ya think the police will catch him'

'They should do. I mean a guy with a bull's penis would stand out in an identity parade wouldn't he?  Don't worry, they won't be requiring your presence.'

'WelI I think that's about as far we can go here ... the anchovies are ready. Where's the custard?'

Monday, 23 August 2010

Spoons don't kill people ... people kill people

 CNS Headline

Robber scared off with spoon


"An armed robber was foiled last night by a restaurant worker who threw a spoon at the culprit after he stole money from a female customer at Liberty's Restaurant."
------------------
 
Obviously the police should now be armed with ladles.

Depleted Uranium would be a good choice of material - plenty of heft.



UPDATE: Works for Tiger's too !